Saturday, November 8, 2008

Possessors or Professors

Conservative, Jewish talk show host Dennis Prager made and observation that I fear is to true. In commenting to a Jewish woman’s complaint that her Rabi did not properly alert the Jewish community to candidates who held anti Jewish positions, Prager noted that preachers, priests, and Rabbis of this generation tend to help people feel good as opposed to declaring the tenants of their faith. That my friends is definitely not a good thing…but I fear it is true. Sure truth is spoken, but disguised in such a way that it is not recognized. Here is an pretend verse by verse example from the P translation where Jesus gave his strongest warning to us from Matthew 7. Can you hear the warning?

15 Protect perceptions provided by pillow pounding pulpit preverters pretending to be prophets of power. Pretence promises pretend protection from possible problems to persons placed in proximity, while privately poisoned pups plan potential pain. 16 Preview of production produces probable personal potential. Do People pick pretend produce from parent plants purposefully? 17 Proper plants procure proper produce. Poser plants provide putrid product. 18 Proper planting prevents putrid products, Putrid plants provide paltry produce. 19 Unprofitable potential producers are pruned and perish in pyrotechnic punishment. 20 Plentiful production of pure proper produce provides positive proof of parenting. 21 The Pearly Path of Paradise is protected from Prophet professing pretending pew perchers while preparations for Paradise are possible primarily for persons participating in the primary purpose of the Parent of the Perfect. 22 Plethoras portend proclamations of prophecy, projection of profligate poltergeists and production of powerful phenomenon. 23 Perfection’s possession of Paradise plainly precludes the purloin possibility of the poverty of passion, plenty of possession pubescent pupils plan to possess paradise in perpetuity.


Clear as mud right? Here is what Jesus said in the NIV version:


MT 7:15 "Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. MT 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, `Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 Many will say to me on that day, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' 23 Then I will tell them plainly, `I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'

Is that plain enough? It seems people like to hear preachers say things like:

Personally purposing to prevent pillow pushing proclamations putting pabulum preferring, poor performing prodigals or pompous profligate parties in position to procure perpetual punishment I purpose proving and providing proven principles for paradise protection planning by personally preferring, preforming and publicly proclaiming powerful principles of prolific purposeful personal productivity and purity. This person and pulpit promises prayer and proven processes procuring pew percher’s paradise.

What it means is preachers like me need to tell it like it really is to prevent the people from falsely thinking they are going to heaven when they are really going to hell. Heaven has standards and requirements and our lifestyle is shouting loudly if we REALLY are possessors or professors.

4 comments:

Doni Brinkman said...

LOL. Your funny and right (of course;).

Brenda B said...

Papa... I miss your ponderings....

heidi jo said...

me too.

Laurie said...

me three...